I know that the phrase “legislated morality” causes the hackles of many to rise (think: gay marriage and such). But there is something that irks me even more, possibly because it’s even more pervasive.

That thing is legislated safety.

Apparently we need such handholding by good ol’ Uncle Sam that we aren’t even allowed to think for ourselves anymore.

Everytime I drive down the highway and see the sign “Click it or Ticket”, I get irritated. Who are they to say that I have to wear a seatbelt? I completely understand the laws requiring parents to buckle in their children, but when *I* don’t wear a seatbelt, am I really hurting anyone but myself?

Isn’t that just a bit insulting? You must wear your seatbelt or the government will give you a spanking, er, ticket.

Or the so-called “food safety” laws that make it almost impossible to acquire raw milk (straight from the cow, just like grandma used to drink). If they want to make a law banning the sale of such milk at the store, more power to them, but to say *I* can’t go to a farm and buy some because there is a minute chance that I could get -*gasp*- food poisoning? Ridiculous. (like I *couldn’t* get food poisoning from raw veggies?).

There is a food safety bill in the works that will affect our small farmers and even our backyard gardens with ridiculous legislation aimed at “reducing food-borne illness”. They want to dictate how (or even if) I grow my backyard garden because I might accidentally make myself sick? Seriously?

What about you? Do you enjoy government handholding?

Moms are special creatures. They love us when we mess up, they love us when we don’t. If I weren’t a mother myself, it might be hard to imagine why on earth they’d love us when we mess up, but I understand that now.

I suppose that’s why there’s a holiday just for moms; to repay them for all the stupid stuff they put up with!

Case in point: when I was about ten, we lived in the country and had a little pond. Well – it seemed as if there was a continuous stream of little baby frogs coming out of that pond, and I LOVED them. They were my little babies. I would stuff my pockets full of my little babies and bring them in the house. As you can imagine, my mom loved that. Right. She especially loved that I convinced my little brother to do the same thing.

So -every year I look for Mother’s Day gifts that say, “Mom, I’m sorry for the dead frog you found in the dryer that time”, or Mothers Day gifts that say, “Mom, please forget that time I put the cat in the pool (I wanted to see *why*, exactly, they hated water so much).”

Unfortunately, there are only so many gifts for Mothers Day that I have to choose from. Do you suppose that 1800Flowers has a “Mom, thank you for loving me even when I took off my diaper and smeared poo all over the wall” bouquet? Hey, it could happen!

I love you Mom!

Subscribe in a reader